Your Right Hand Thief

As an amateur assassination buff, I had to download this heinously realistic simulation of JFK's murder in Dealey Plaza (just in time for the 41st anniversary!). There's a million different scenarios to recreate, all begin from the sniper's viewpoint in the famous School Book Depository in good ole Dallas. Oh, it's horrible. For example, you can fire as many times as you want, even at Jackie, and then zoom in to get an extreme close up of brain fragments. Or-- for the supremely twisted-- aim at the driver. If he's immobilized there are some scenarios where the black limo goes careening over the grass and then does a Dukes of Hazard air-jump off the plaza into the trainyard (dumping out the Kennedys and Connallys in mid-air, of course). You can also choose a "bullet's eye" viewpoint as fatal ammo perforates human organs (a la Three Kings). I swear, I haven't felt like such a degenerate since a friend put in the Bumfights DVD during a party, while everyone-- and I mean everyone-- eventually left the room in disgust while we laughed like kids. Here, there are no laughs, but background "ambient" noises break up the silence while you wait for the motorcade, including Oswald's(?) heavy breathing. Like I said: perverse as all hell.

Anyway, there's a $100k prize if you can exactly replicate Oswald's alleged three shots and accurately inflict the same wounds on JFK as in 1963. Points are subtracted if you fire too many times, or otherwise go off script. It's unclear whether, in the event of a tie, Arlen Specter will be recruited to break it.

To the "game's" credit, though, I must say it's a damn difficult simulation. I think the software is based on the simulation from last year's ABC special.

Ted Kennedy's spokesman calls the game "despicable."

No word yet on whether there will be an RFK assassination sequel. In that one, presumably, you get to squeeze off 13 rounds from an eight round clip. Maybe they'll have a hypnotic chant option for the ambient noise in that one. Who knows?

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(H/T Radical Georgia Moderate)
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Apologies to Ricky for the irreverent title.