Friday, February 11, 2005

Take your Beagle out for a spin! 

1. Though Jeffrey's Carnival dog-walking was cut short, he has your Rex recap (plus an immaculate red beans recipe). Informed locals will relish this quote, too:

One of my favorite parts of every Mardi Gras morning happens when all the folks who have camped out and erected ladders facing the right side of St. Charles, suddenly realize that Rex is coming up the wrong side of the street.

2. My favorite malcontent, Phizz, has your recommended itinerary for tomorrow, and it's a doozy. (By the way, shouldn't political candidates be pressed to answer whether they believe the earth is "more nearly 6,000 or 4 billion years old"? I think so.)

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Sportsmen's Paradise 

Driving in Cajun country on Highway 90 (the permanently "future corridor of I-49") you may wish to stop at the Queen Bee tavern. Entertainment is provided.

Sign says "Lingerie Show"

When you need to lay pipe or find a new ballcock in New Orleans, look for the overalls-wearing ballerina with the wooden pointer, riding an oversized tool.

The wrench says "Ridgid"
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Thursday, February 10, 2005

He's got the juice 

Most pimps "conservative guys" are anti-tax, so this sort of thing doesn't surprise me.

Still, by my calculations, The Voice now owes over $57k to Delaware. I would think such a pro-military man would support the state where the fallen "Hot Military Studs" he so admires return, in coffins, prior to their (rarely seen) hometown arrivals.

I'm quite sure that's the last of the skeletons, though. Don't make a liar out of me, "JD Gannon", er, James Dale Guckert.

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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Frogs will March 

I was wondering when L'Affaire Plame would return, since I had predicted that "something would come of it". A kossack named spiderleaf makes a pretty sound case against JD "still sexy" Gannon as the leaker of Joe Wilson's wife's identity. Perhaps, but of course that wouldn't be the whole story. It would be only the beginning-- of a real page-turner.

So where might this current dark tunnel of intrigue lead? And where may we find an investigatory "Lemmingwinks" who will take us to the end?

NY Daily News writes "Bush press pal quits over gay prostie link":

A conservative ringer who was given a press pass to the White House and lobbed softball questions at President Bush quit yesterday after left-leaning Internet bloggers discovered possible ties to gay prostitution.
Yesterday, however, he abruptly quit, and all of the stories he wrote were erased from the Web site. A great many were on gay issues, including one detailing John Kerry's "pro-homosexual platform" that was headlined mockingly, "Kerry Could Become First Gay President."

I've been looking for a mentor in self-loathing...
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Who knew the response would be so swift? 

In a daring move, President Bush called on racists to drop "the baggage of bigotry".

It appears some from Houma's Cleopatra krewe heard Bush's call, and dropped their bigotry, literally, in cassette form, to black kids along the Carnival route.

How cathartic! People who used to "disperse hate" are now merely losing their "baggage". I sure hope that the President's request resonates with everyone so quickly... it's like instant therapy for bigots. I wish MLK had only thought to ask.

Update: On a more substantial note, I seem to have betrayed my race. According to a contributing reporter and opinion-writer of the Washington Times, and wife of the managing editor:

White men should "run, not walk" to wed "racially conscious" white women and avoid being out-bred by non-whites. Latinos are "rising to take this country away from those who made it," the "Euroamericans."

Must... take... country... back... from... my... thieving... Latino... wife... Should I sell daughter Colicky, too? Since she's racially doomed?

(President Bush claims to read the Washington Times on a daily basis.)
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"Do the chickens have large Talons?" 

If you're missing out on the developing story of Talon News' "JD" Gannon, well you're missing some sweet hilarity. Be sure to catch up on it over at Kos (click the underwear pic!) and Atrios.

Wow, apparently he already quit, humbly stating: "the voice goes silent"... I earnestly hope some innocent male military escorts don't become unemployed over this idiot's hypocrisy. Americablog has some samples of it.

I've previously relied on the unbiased, unhypocritical reporters at Talon News for objective information about MLK's illiberalism and creationist geology.

* (inspiration via Lovely)
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Two out of three  

Unfortunately, my main man Michael Vincent Liuzza didn't advance to the next stage of American Idol. I wish him all the best in his effort to "change the world", wherever that takes him from here. Keep spreadin' the love, brotha.

Big ups to New Orleans' own David Brown and Ponchatoula's Lindsey Cardinale for advancing. Give it all ya got.

TBogg appropriately smacks down an American Idol entertainment writer.

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It's Ash Wednesday: get sprung! 

Request that your pastor mark your forehead with an ash "W", the sign of Our Blessed Leader. Do not remove this sign, as it distinguishes you from ...the others.

"Remember that thou art Dubya's and unto Dubya you shall return."

Also, during Lent please resist the powerful temptation to pat your spouse's rear during services. We take part in Mass, not "Ass", you preeverts! And we're passing the peace, not the "piece"!

Heck, even butt-crazed Sir Mix A Lot advocated taking gals home first, before commencing with the assplay:

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
I'm actin like an animal
Now here's my scandal

I wanna get you home
And ugh, double ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
Cuz silicone parts were made for toys
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her

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Happy Mardis Gras, for some. 

I'm sure your Mardis Gras was better than mine, even if you didn't celebrate it and went to work like any other day.

Huh? How can that be?

Well, let me just put it this way: I wish I'd paid closer attention to the following articles about some of the risks inherent in Carnival's human gumbo.

The first article concerns a wedding ring lost during a parade -- as it so happened, this year I also lost my wedding ring in the carnival mileu along St. Charles... it's ok though, I'm sure it will turn up soon. The second piece detailed the preponderance of flu and infection in the area-- and I learned this firsthand when I got absolutely waylaid by sickness on Monday. It was by far the worst flu I've had in recent years, totally obliterating me as a useful human presence. A physician quoted in the article warns "[at parades] people are spreading their microdroplets"-- and doc ain't jokin'!

So I didn't get to party with Michael or see Orpheus or Quintron (or Jeffrey and Daisy)-- much less Zulu or Rex. Instead, I was in bed vomiting and trying to bring down a sperm-curdlingly high fever. I "celebrated" Mardis Gras by watching stale local news coverage and a very special Ellen.

Thus, as incredible as it seems, even Seattle's thehim had a Fatter Tuesday than I did, and he's still mourning the Eagles' SB loss.

What a total botch.
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Sunday, February 06, 2005


Like I said previously, Jeffrey should be your source for up to the minute carnival blogging.

Appropriately blurry photo looking down the 300 block of Bourbon Street from a 3rd floor hotel balcony. Lovely and I distributed long beads to the deserving during Endymion. Smoke and lights courtesy of Temptations gentleman's club. Thanks to Medium Jim for hooking us up, at a premier location.

T & A beads

Tucks uptown neighborhood parade, seen from B & T's porch.
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