Thursday, April 14, 2005

Rosie O'Donnell was right, "Staph is no laugh". Especially for little Pearlgirl, who got infected the other day and had to have surgery to drain a nasty-ass abscess. She's fine and doing well now, but postings will be rare until she's fully up to snuff. Visit the links to the right in the meantime.

Just send any well-wishes or good thoughts for her recovery telepathically or in an email. Thanks, and see y'all soon.

Alright, a few quickies:

Good. Nail all those those who drained New Orleans school funds to enrich themselves (I realize this would constitute quite a list).

Good. Nail all Tejas oil greedheads who are up to no good (I realize this would constitute quite a list.)

And, a quick notice to Billmon: Hastert is no Polar Bear.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Knack Attack 

The NY Times reports that the president doesn't listen to "Fortunate Son" on his iFruit, like I had wondered. He does listen to the Knack's "My Sharona", though. Get the riff in your head (imagine the scene from Reality Bites if you must) and sing with me!

Keeping it in a mystery, it gets to me
Running down the length of my thighs, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
I always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind.

That was so lame. I can't believe you did that. But it's fun to imagine Dubya singin' along to those creepy lines at the end. [For the record, Condi is nearly a decade younger than W.]

Anyhow, Bush's media strategist made this illuminating statement about the music on Bush's pod: "It's safe, it's reliable, it's loving. What I mean to say is, it's feel-good music. The Sex Pistols it's not."

No shit, really? Are you sure "Liar" wouldn't get his heartrate up...

If nothing else this reminds me of the Dead Kennedys, and one of their legendary stunts which occurred during a live award show broadcast. They used the Knack's lame-ass "hit" to mock mainstream music. Lead singer Jello Biafra recounts the tale:

"Remember The Knack? 'My Sharona', skinny ties, that "We got your money" greedsmile on the album cover? This was mainstream America's first real whiff of what the industry called New Wave. Forget Punk: here was someone with a top ten smash who was happy to play by their rules. It appeared 1980 was the year to cash in. Every year the California music establishment's house organ, BAM magazine, plays host to a backslapping circus banquet known as the Bammie Awards. This year it was time to break the ice with that still-mysterious upstart on the block, the...(dripping horror movie letters)...New Wave by inviting a couple of local bands to play at the ceremony - The Mutants and Dead Kennedys. At the awards rehearsal we showed them a light-hearted parody of 'California Uber Alles'. The audience that night got something a little different. Here was an auditorium filled with people who'd paid up to $50 a ticket to see Jerry Garcia, Journey, and that ilk walk up onstage to hold a trophy in the air and maybe play a song or two.
We came onstage in our snappy matching New Wave uniforms and started playing 'California Uber Alles'. An 'S' was spray painted across our white shirts. We interrupted our "hit" song and pulled skinny black Knack-ties from around our backs the cross the 'S's on our shirts thus forming a dollar sign (note audience laughter at this point). We then launched into this chronicle of the music industry based on the careers of several of the people sitting in the audience that night. They heard every word. So did the estimated 25,000 listeners tuned into the live simulcast on commercial rock radio station KMEL. Ray went off on a long 70's-style guitar solo complete with cock rock stage moves while the rest of us feigned boredom and yawned. Ronnie Montrose did the same thing a few minutes later only he was serious! After we finished some of those in charge of the event grew very cold indeed. 'Pull My Strings' was not quite the malleable brand of New Wave they had in mind. Boz Scaggs was reportedly seen clawing at his chair. The KMEL sound engineers didn't seem to happy either. Stranger still was when Eddie Money said he liked it.
For some reason we were never asked to play the "Bammie" Awards again. Eager to please? Hell no. Our band was intended as a prank to begin with. Of all the pranks we pulled this remains one of my favorites."

And here's the sing-a-long chorus to "Pull My Strings" (with added visuals!):

Is my cock big enough?

Is my brain small enough?

For you to make me a star?

Give me a toot,

I'll sell you my soul

Pull my strings and I'll go far

Shut up and dance everybody!


We've Got a Bigger Problem Now
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So, what'll it be? 

Billmon at his best.
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

Posting will be light as the family moves into a different dwelling space. Huge thanks to K Mart, Ratboy, Ratgirl, Big Event (& T!) and Medium Jim for all their help.

Also, since we're doing the personal stuff, YRHT sends its most earnest "get well" wishes to Robin, who was hospitalized this week.

If you want something political or funny or both, go here.
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