Thursday, December 08, 2005

Das ist Superphantastisch!! 

I know time's are tough, but endeavour to make it work, people. If you aren't watching this, then the hurricane wins.
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"Un-sour it" 

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My church provided me some help the other day while I was gutting my house. I got a call from my associate pastor, and he said he had 15 people (including himself) on his way to give me a hand. Now, this was great. Overwhelmingly great. But sudden. Damn sudden.

See, because I'd waited months for my various insurance and loan adjustors to view the property, many things hadn't been moved out of the house. I wanted the adjustors to inspect the place in all its moldy glory. But many... erm... personal affects had yet to be removed from the premises. Now, over a dozen people of faith were about to show up to go through every nook and cranny of my house-- including the associate pastor!

That is a rather awkward circumstance in which to find oneself. Minutes later, they all pulled up in several mini-vans and commenced to file into my house, directly to the back bedrooms. Onward Christian soldiers!

I was chasing them in a panic, and started yelling through my respirator "Now remember, all kinds of things can float around in a flood. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if we find some of my neighbors' stuff in here. Anything's possible."

I noticed someone following me and turned around. "Pastor Joe!!" I shrieked, "Um, hello. I believe your talents could best be used in the kitchen area. That's where I need the most help. I'm sure the rest of us have the master bedroom covered."

Someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn around again. "Mr. oyster, are you sure you want us to throw out this shrine to Gina Gershon? I think much of this pictorial collage can be salvaged."

"No, just throw everything away. Even the odd stuff that floated in from who knows where. We can be good stewards another time. Now it's all about hasty disposal. Heck, you don't even need to look at it. Whatever it is, just toss it. Remember, Katrina means cleansing. Heh." I smile weakly.

Someone else calls out from down the hall, waving an object: "Mr. oyster, is this a children's toy? I found it by your bedside table...?"

"NO!! I mean, YES! YES! Sweet Jeebus, yes! It's definitely a children's toy. Heh, what else could it be? Pearlgirl loves ... uh... weird-looking rabbits, and everything's battery-powered nowadays, so yes, Elder Prudence, let me take that from you."


I couldn't wait for the next "discovery".
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Aye, my eye is on I 

Senator David Vitter (R-LA) has always seemed deeply suspicious of the maxim that "amazing things can be accomplished when nobody cares who gets the credit". His recent editorial in Da Paper did little to dispel this image, as it was chock-full of his typical grandstanding. The only thing I found of interest was the following claim: Vitter is "hopeful" that the Bush administration will "articulate a clear, firm commitment" on Category 5 levee protection "in the coming weeks".

Like I've said before, nothing has worked more effectively than "hope" when it comes to the Bush administration's governance. They're terrified of "hope" and respond immediately when collective hopes are multiplied. I'm sure Rove loses a lot of sleep at night over people's hopes: all the supporters who hoped Bush was right about Iraq; the Houston Chronicle's "hope" that Bush would govern from the center in his second term; fiscal conservatives "hoping" Bush will one day make a principled veto on a spending bill; Representative Jindal's "hopes" that the new Reconstruction Czar has Louisiana's best interests at heart, as well as the many Louisiana Republicans still "hopeful" the President will do right by our state, and commit to Cat 5 levees and wetlands replenishment.

Yeah, hope is a helluva plan with this crew. Guess we should just "hope harder" when we don't get the results we want. Hopefully, that'll work. Right?
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Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Keeping tabs 

After repeated requests for a Blue Roof, I hired some local guys from Metry to do the work. They came that afternoon and put several several tarps on my roof. (It's a significant job that requires a 40 foot ladder.) Total cost: $500.

I think Shaw Group, a Louisiana subcontractor for "blue roofs", charges about $2500 a pop.
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A thousand pardons 

Sorry. Didn't know I was going to be away for so long-- utmost apologies to me regular peeps.

I was gutting my house the past several days, and 'puter time was scarce.

However, this morning I saw something damn rare. There were two crows hopping around my fire escape, and they each had a drooping, broken wing. When I walked by, they got startled and tried to fly away but couldn't, so they came crashing down into the fence below. Certainly a sad thing to see, but I was amazed at how two similarly-afflicted crows somehow found one another and decided (apparently) to work together.

While I scavenged for some edible kibbles to feed the birds, I decided I'd call one Missi and the other one Louise. That seemed clever to me. But when I returned to feed Missi and Louise some chips, they'd already hopped away.
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