Monday, June 05, 2006

Vitty-cent: stalwart defender of marriage 

Despite already having a stupid, useless, discriminatory anti-gay State Constitutional Amendment on marriage, Senator David Vitter takes time out to talk up a proposed National Constitutional Amendment to "protect" marriage:

I'm proud to join [Matt Daniels] and the entire Alliance for Marriage in support of the Marriage Protection Amendment... Your group recognizes... that marriage is the most important social institution in human history and is the most significant factor in terms of minimizing all sorts of social ills.
For a legislator representing a state hit by catastrophes, Vitter sure is spending a lot of time slamming illegal immigrants and gays who "threaten" marriage. For someone fresh out of marriage counseling, Vitter sure has balls to co-sponsor a federal "Marriage Protection Amendment" to the Constitution.

YRHT asks: Senator Vitter, do you know what will protect marriage far more than this stupid, destined-to-fail amendment? Do ya? Well-built levees! Divorce skyrocketed after the faulty levees broke and thousands of lives were upturned; but you won't hear Vitter talk about Category 5 levees as much as he'll talk about preventing gays from marrying.

But if Vitty-cent thinks preventing immigration and gay marriage are the most important discussions for Louisianans to be having right now, then YRHT is ready to indulge him.

First, we should review John Avarosis' action plan which encourages constituents to learn more about what Senators are doing to protect their own marriages. I agree that this would be useful to know. Who are the real defenders of marriage and who are the pretenders? Avarosis lays out the rationale for his plan at Americablog:

In a nutshell, the religious right and far-right Republicans have said repeatedly that the "gay marriage" battle is really about outlawing:

sodomy
masturbation
adultery
prostitution
out-of-wedlock
sex
marriages that cannot procreate

We here at AMERICAblog couldn't agree more. That's why we are asking our readers to contact members of Congress who support the anti-gay constitutional amendment, and to ask them if they're defending marriage in their own lives.

MESSAGE: Specifically, we'd like you to ask them to vow that in the past, now, and in the future they will abstain from sodomy (including same-sex and/or male-female analingus, cunnilingus, and fellatio), masturbation, adultery, prostitution, out-of-wedlock sex, and marriages that cannot procreate. We will also ask them about divorce, as there is no greater threat to marriage today than divorce (in addition, the Bible makes clear that divorce is a no-no).

Asking Senator Vitter these suggested questions is not for the faint of heart, especially if you do so in person. Vitter has been known to become "angry, agitated and excited" when asked about his position on gay issues, as he did at a Metairie town hall meeting in 1993. There, he became enraged and assaulted a woman in the audience. Then he proceeded to lose a civil suit about the altercation, and had to pay a fine. So, while I think Avarosis' bold information-gathering strategy is excellent, I would recommend that most people use it over the telephone. Only the most fearless should attempt it in person with Senator Vitter.

But YRHT has another thought. Perhaps we should engage rightwing supporters of this Amendment, and explain to them that the best "defense" of marriage is a good offense. How so? Well, instead of defending marriage from gay activist judges, perhaps they should simply rely on their wives to enforse marriage's sanctity by encouraging them to castrate husbands who violate their vows. For example, Senator Vitter's wife told the press she would cut off her husband's joystick procreative organ in the event of any hanky-panky outside the sacred marital bed. Some may view this as a draconian punishment, but I think it would be even more effective than another redundant amendment. Philandering men might ignore the law, but a schlong-chopping wife is another story. Although some say we live in a "Christian nation", I don't think we can endorse a new testament-style "love your enemies/turn the other ass cheek" approach. No indeed! Marriage is far too important for such liberal softness. It's time for old school punishments straight outta Leviticus: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a tat for a tit!

Indeed, Salon reported on Wendy Vitter's vigilance in these matters. Here's a quote from her preceded by a little background which I trust you'll find helpful:


As Vitter geared up in 2002 to run for governor, his bitter race against [David Treen] came back to haunt him. A Treen supporter, local Republican Party official Vincent Bruno, blurted out on a radio show that he believed Vitter had once had an extramarital affair.

The Louisiana Weekly newspaper followed up. Bruno told the paper that the young woman had contacted the Treen campaign in 1999 because she was upset that Vitter was portraying himself as a family-values conservative and trotting out his wife and children for campaign photo ops. Bruno, who declined to comment for this story, and John Treen interviewed the woman, who said she had worked under the name "Leah."

But after nearly a year of regular paid assignations with Vitter, the lawmaker asked her to divulge her real name, according to Treen, citing the account he said she gave him. Her name was Wendy Cortez, Treen said. She said Vitter's response was electric. "He said, 'Oh, my God! I can't see you anymore," John Treen told me, citing the woman's account to him and noting that Vitter's wife is also named Wendy. And Wendy Vitter does not appear to be the indulgent type.

Asked by an interviewer in 2000 whether she could forgive her husband if she learned he'd had an extramarital affair, as Hillary Clinton and Bob Livingston's wife had done, Wendy Vitter told the Times-Picayune: "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."

You go girl!



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13 Comments:

do you think "honor", is important in a marriage? like lets say someone bet on the mayor's race, and lets say you lost the bet. should you - you know - pay up????

don't be a turkey.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:30 PM  

i agree
lovely

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:43 PM  

Oyster, oyster. take a deep breath. As much as I enjoy your rants, this one isn't coherent.

By Blogger Pawpaw, at 7:44 PM  

I couldn't agree more. I was doing research on some Katrina relief bills at about two this morning when I discovered the MPA was going to be on the senate floor this morning. Despite knowing that Sen. Vitter was a co-sponsor of the bill, I shot off an e-mail to both Vitter and Landrieu about civil rights for all people--regardless of their sexual orientation.

Not sure how much good it did, but at least it's something.

I'd also like to see Vitter focus on issues that will better benefit his constitutients. However, I'm seeing more Gulf Coast relief bills being co-sponsored by Landrieu than I do Vitter...

By Blogger T., at 9:12 PM  

i went fag bashing and cow tipping with vitter last weekend, and he stole an ipod from an old lady.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:14 PM  

Funny how Lewinsky stayed around, but Wendy Cortez and Cathryn Lee Wolfman mysteriously disappear and never say another word.

By Anonymous ashley, at 10:38 PM  

Welcome T!

Ratboy: Simmer down. I'm gonna get my wife an ipod.

Pawpaw: As you know, I employ generous amounts of sarcasm sometimes in hopes of making a point. In this post I'm saying Vitter should spend less time defending marriage and more time defending new orleans. Especially since he has allegedly visited prostitutes, and has a wife who says she'll chop off his weenie if she finds that he ever philandered. Course, this might've been resolved in therapy-- I don't know. More coherent now, or less?

By Blogger oyster, at 12:51 AM  

Marriages aren't the only important things protected by strong levees and wetlands. Unborn babies are protected when levees are strong.

However, our legislature and governor have other ideas about protecting unborn babies . . .

By Blogger Mr. Clio, at 7:48 AM  

ahhh. honor. the way of the samuri.

now about backyard wrestling, "dallas", and homeless alley fighting....

(why did your people let down arnold?)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:48 AM  

I'm not crazy about bringing up the marriage amendment now. I'd rather the laws stay with the states as long as the Federal Judges butt out.

Obviously you don't care much for Vitter. I'm not all that crazy about him either, he strangely reminds me of Jim Brown. The problem with the Republicans is choices and we don't seem to get many good ones these days.

By Blogger Roux, at 9:57 AM  

My feelings for Vitter are more complicated than you might think, Roux.

In a way, I feel sorry for him because he has no friends. One reason he doesn't have friends is that he has problems sharing credit for things. But the flip side is that he's willing to stand up for Louisiana because he doesn't care about impressing his colleagues. So that can be good.

I like that Vitter's anti-corruption. I like that he's for one assessor for Orleans parish. I respect his political skills.

However, I can't stand it when he caters to the anti-gay, fundagelical plank of his party-- ESPECIALLY since he's had his own "marriage" difficulties. (Trust me, I don't take the Salon story about his prostitution exploits at face value. I've interviewed sources from that story several times, and have talked to people on the left and the right about Vitter's exploits. In short, I think the allegations about him are extremely credible; and if he wants to make a big deal about "protecting marriage", I'm gonna bring all that stuff up, again and again.

By Blogger oyster, at 11:54 AM  

Actually, oyster, I understood the rant, but you're confusing the defense of marriage with the marriage amendment. A guy can defend marriage and screw around on his wife. That just makes him a hypocrite.

The political truth is that almost everywhere the voters have had an opportunity to vote in defense of marriage, they have done so overwhelmingly. It is a mandate that crosses party lines. Trying to defend same-sex marriage is a political loser and smart pols don't want to be on the wrong side of this mandate.

By Blogger Pawpaw, at 2:53 PM  

Like I said, the best "defense" of marriage against the homosexual agenda is a good offense. Wendy Vitter has the right idea: castrate the hypocrites who would weaken our sacred institutions while they're under "attack".

By Blogger oyster, at 5:45 PM