Friday, May 30, 2008

Bush wrong

"I truly believe America is better off as a result of the influx of Texans who showed up [in Washington]"-- President Bush circa 2002, as reported in WSJ 7/26/05

No, President Bush. America is not better off as the result of your Texan influx. Quite simply, you are wrong. Your cronies and loyalists, many of whom happen to be Texan, presided over perhaps the worst administration in modern presidential history. No doubt you still believe America is better off because of you and your Texas posse-- you're great at believing stuff that isn't true-- but you are wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. It would be hard to describe exactly how wrong you are, but we'll give it a shot anyway:

Bush is so wrong that even if America became BizarroBushWorld, he'd still be 180 degrees wrong.

Bush is so wrong that even Condi once thought about telling him how wrong he was.

Bush is so wrong he karaokes to "Bang a Gong (Get it Wrong)".

Bush is so wrong he occasionally jumps out of a filing cabinet in his Wrong Kong Phooey costume.

At the Web site "Stuff Wrong People Like", Bush is number 1 thru 99. (Sadly, #100 involves Richard.)

Bush is so wrong that a serial Wrongdoer on a multi-state wrongdoing rampage couldn't have spread more wrongness.

Bush's porn star name is Wrong Dong Silver, that's how wrong he is.

If you stare into his eyes to get a sense of Bush's soul, all you see is infinite wrong.

Bush's wrong dial goes to eleven, which enables him to get that "little extra push over the cliff" when he needs it, so he can be more wrong than anyone else.

Reverend Wright on his wrongest day was never half as wrong as Bush and his Texan "influx".

Once, Bush tried to pull my liberal off with his neocon muscles, and that was wrong-- stankonia wrong, at that.

Bush is so wrong he makes Baghdad Bob look like a returning Jeopardy! champion.

Dick Cheney and Karl Rove's lovechild couldn't be more wrong than Bush.

Bush is so wrong, he's Michael "heckuva" Brownie wrong.

He's Osama still alive wrong.

He's Abu Ghraib wrong.

He's Katrina wrong.

He's Iraq War wrong.

He embodies the most extreme form of wrong: Bush wrong.

And he'll never know it.


Update: As if on cue, from right-winger David Frum's recent National Post article:

George W. Bush brought most of his White House team with him from Texas. Except for Karl Rove, these Texans were a strikingly inadequate bunch. Harriet Miers, Alberto Gonzalez, Karen Hughes, Al Hawkins, Andy Card (the last not a Texan, but a lifelong Bush family retainer) — they were more like characters from The Office than the sort of people one would expect to find at the supreme height of government in the world’s most powerful nation.


Leigh C. said...

So, in "Sixteen Candles", Bush was Wrong Duck Dong?

You've been watching too many of those yogurt commercials...not that YOU'RE wrong... ;-)

jeffrey said...

Half of Louisiana is under water and... doh!

Daniel Z. said...

More on how bush is wrong

Mr. Clio said...

Bush : Wrong
Chuck Norris : Toughness

Michael said...

MOAW--The Mother of All Wrongs.

KamaAina said...

During his days as a Texas Air National Guard "pilot", his nickname was "Wrong Way Corrigan".

Anntichrist S. Coulter said...

He's not even REMOTELY "Texan"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How in the HELL people who actually GREW UP IN TEXAS didn't see through that wronger-than-a-feed-lot-stench PATHETICALLY FAKE-ASS ACCENT OF HIS, I will never fucking understand.

The bats under the Congress Street Bridge can see how wrong that motherfucking moron is...

He is even more wrong than the fake-ass "southern" accents in "North & South."

He is "Barbara Bush Doing Scat Porn" wrong.

(Bill Hicks made that work, though.)

Leigh C. said...

Something that is unmistakably RIGHT, however...

Happy Birthday, Oyster!

Michael said...

Enjoy your birthday, Mr. Oyster. Coincidentally, my sister is celebrating her own birthday with a weekend getaway in NOLA.

Mark said...

If they looked for a symbol to replace the words Wrong Way at freeway ramps they could just use a picture of Bush.

And happy birthday. Interesting there are so many Gemini bloggers.

oyster said...

Our double life, I guess.

Marco said...

Happy birthday!
I know that you read Harry Shearer. He has a new song out: 935lies