Friday, November 14, 2008

"Stripper Distance" law? 

Another "family values" Gooper from the hinterlands wants to regulate businesses in the French Quarter.


Several strip clubs could be forced to take a hands-off approach if one lawmaker has his way.

Sen. John Smith, a Republican from Leesville, introduced the [stripper distance] legislation.

The Louisiana Family Forum, the lobbying group behind the bill, said strip clubs bring crime.
The bill calls for a 6-foot buffer between dancers and customers at all times. Violations would result in up to $500 in fines and 90 days in jail.


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YRHT readers who view the Dems and Goopers as too beholden to the far left and far right will probably enjoy "Dumbocracy", written by journalist Marty Beckerman. Beckerman spent years mingling with the various extreme interest groups that comprise the activist "base" of both parties, and now he decided to expose them in an entertaining way. Dumbocracy isn't a sappy celebration of the "split-the-difference mushy middle"-- it's often thoughtful and often viciously funny. The style is anything but "moderate". At its best, Dumbocracy systematically illustrates how our debate gets paralyzed by motivated mouthbreathers at both edges of the political spectrum.

In the bio at his web site, the author writes:

Beckerman's best-known journalistic achievements include taking a prostitute to his senior prom (S.L.U.T.), provoking the wrath of punk rock star Henry Rollins (Cheerleaders), getting sodomized with a dildo, and interviewing legendary gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, who called him a "morbid little bastard. Beckerman considers this the greatest compliment of his career.


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The Center for Public Integrity says Governor Jindal exaggerated Louisiana's new ethics law ranking.

And political Watchdog C.B. Forgotston sees more Jindal ethics hypocrisy. He concludes by wondering "What will the people in Iowa say?"


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Thursday, November 13, 2008

My name is oyster and I approve of this mischief 

From the Reduct Box, we learn about a new Craigslist ad for a female candidate to run against Sen. David Vitter. (Politico's Shenanigans column picked it up.)

Jobs are few and far between in this economy, so I want to do my part to spread the word to qualified potential applicants:

Exciting Political Opportunity

“Seeking a female candidate to challenge David Vitter in the Republican primary for the United States Senate in 2010. Candidate must be over 30 years old and a registered Republican in the state of Louisiana. Beyond this, we are looking for a candidate with a history in some aspect of the adult entertainment industry who has taken the benefit of that experience both monetarily and otherwise and translated it into success in their later career.

“Candidate will have the benefit of an experienced campaign staff, including finance and media teams. Reasonable compensation as allowed by federal campaign finance rules will be offered. This is a serious offer for a serious candidate who cares about the direction of her state and community and who is willing to accept the serious commitment of a statewide political campaign.

“Please forward a résumé or CV with contact information along with a 200-word description telling us who you are and why you think you are the ideal candidate to challenge David Vitter.”

Update: Kudos to The Daily Kingfish, who spotted this last week.


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"Oysters contain fat compounds that could help treat and prevent cancer" 

Good news from the editorial (H/T DP):

[R]esearchers announced oysters contain fat compounds that could help treat and prevent cancer.

LSU experts say ceramides are found in oysters and a handful of other sea creatures. They harvested the compund from oysters, concentrated it and studied it in test tubes and in laboratory rats.

The results are compelling: The ceramides seem to restrict the growth of blood vessels in cancerous growths. Without those blood vessels, the cancer cells can’t grow and multiply.

Cancer growth went down by 57 percent in seven days in the lab trials. And there didn’t seem to be any adverse effects to the rats.

Drago's Image credit: Jason Perlow


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The KKK took my baby away 


A Tulsa, Okla., woman who traveled to Louisiana [by bus] to join the Ku Klux Klan...

Well that's just pathetic.

was shot to death by the leader of the group's Bogalusa chapter...

Oh no!

after she tried to back out of initiation rites at a remote, sandbar camp in northeastern St. Tammany Parish, authorities said Tuesday.

What sort of rites are we talking about?

After several rites, including a head-shaving, she was taken to a camp on a sandbar, accessible only by boat... The initiation continued at the campsite, with rituals that consisted mainly of lighting torches and "running around in the woods," [St. Tammany Sheriff Jack] Strain said.

I wonder how they got caught.

[It] was the group's effort to cover up the shooting that eventually put investigators on their trail.

Foster's son, Shane Foster, and Frank Stafford showed up at the Circle K store on Louisiana 21 in Bogalusa early Monday morning and asked the clerk how they could remove bloodstains from their clothes...

You'd think that dudes who run around in the woods wearing white robes would be more knowledgeable about stain removal.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Memo to N.O. City Councilmember 

While I understand your need to be informed, and while I respect your ability to multi-task, may I respectfully request that you not read the paper while speeding through a school zone?

Some of us have kids in the car, and it's troubling to see a Councilmember driving a large SUV with a copy of the Times Picayune splayed out all over the steering wheel. (Couldn't wait to read the exciting conclusion of Frank Donze's article, I guess.)

Nothing personal. We both understand that vigilant surveillance makes everyone feel gooder safer. Right?


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Necessary condition which must obtain before YRHT will support a U.S. auto industry bailout: 

* Lincoln must immediately retract and apologize for all tv ads using "Space Oddity" to market their hideous new MK-Ultra towncar experience (or whatever they're calling it).

Hey, Big 2 and 1/2: learn how to make a freakin' car! Please. In terms of "fit and finish", the toys in Pearlgirl's cereal box are often superior to my Buick LaCrosse CXL. It's sad.

Buick continues to ask the American consumer: why would you want two ergonomic, intuitive knobs to operate climate control, when you can have a display panel with a thousand cheap little plastic buttons!


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Belated Veteran's Day .jpeg 

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008


"Now we kick in that fiscal conservativeness that needs to be engaged, and we progress this state with $57-a-barrel oil... [the state will have to] be prudent with public dollars and provide services more efficiently than have ever been provided in the state of Alaska before."

-- Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, 11/07/08

"Obama thinks he is a good talker, but he is often undisciplined when he speaks. He needs to understand that as President, his words will be scrutinized and will have impact whether he intends it or not. In this regard, President Bush is an excellent model; Obama should take a lesson from his example. Bush never gets sloppy when he is speaking publicly. He chooses his words with care and precision, which is why his style sometimes seems halting. In the eight years he has been President, it is remarkable how few gaffes or verbal blunders he has committed. If Obama doesn't raise his standards, he will exceed Bush's total before he is inaugurated."

-- John Hindraker, of the conservative Power Line blog, Time magazine's 2004 "Blog of the Year"

Here's an extremely partial review of public statements by Bush that demonstrate his unfailing unsloppiness:

"I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straightforward and trustworthy. We had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul; a man deeply committed to his country and the best interests of his country."

--President Bush, June 16, 2001, in answer to the question "Is [Russian President Vladimir Putin] a man that Americans can trust?"

"Do you have blacks, too?"

—- President Bush, to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

— President Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

"My answer is bring them on."

— President Bush, inviting Iraqi insurgents to attack U.S. forces, Washington, D.C., July 3, 2003


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Monday, November 10, 2008

"Who loves ya, baby?" 

The Reduct Box points us to this illuminating Chris Cillizza post about Jindal giving McCain the stiff-arm to any Veep consideration. Here's an extended quote:

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, who has emerged as one of the hottest names in national Republican circles since John McCain's defeat last week, was never vetted as a vice presidential pick, according to sources close to the Pelican State chief executive.

Jindal was approached by McCain forces to gauge his interest in the vice presidency and told them he was not interested in being vetted due to his desire to continue on with his current job, to which he was elected just one year ago.

While the official reason that Jindal took his name out of contention was his lack of a desire to leave the Louisiana governorship, there was also real trepidation within his political inner circle that Jindal might wind up as the pick -- McCain was attracted to his comprehensive health-care knowledge -- and be caught up in what they believed to be a less-than-stellar campaign that could pin a loss on Jindal without much ability to change or control the direction of the contest.

Some McCain insiders fretted privately that Jindal was too young -- 37 -- and too inexperienced (he had been a congressman since 2004 and was elected governor in 2007) to provide a stark enough contrast with Barack Obama. Of course, experience wound up being a less important factor than many people thought as McCain chose Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

The end result -- intentional or not -- is that Jindal, should he run in 2012, will be free of any taint of President George W. Bush or McCain.

It's difficult to predict what will happen over the next three years, 2016-- not 2012-- seems to be the obvious play for Jindal. He wouldn't have to run against an incumbent President, and there probably won't be a clear heir apparent to Obama, since V.P. (elect) Biden would be pretty old in eight years. Jindal's certainly young enough to wait eight years, but... will the anxious GOP powers-that-be let him wait that long? That's the question. It's difficult to see them coalescing happily around either Huckabee, Palin or Mitt. I suspect Jindal's "inner circle" might feel similar trepidations two years from now, if and when party bigwigs and pundits want to draft him to run against incumbent Obama. And even if he isn't drafted to run for Prez, he sure as hell will be on the VP short-list in 2012.

I suspected Jindal didn't have Veep ambitions all along, and will now self-quote in order to feel all high and punditry:

"Jindal wants to be GOP convention keynote speaker." (2/25/08)

"I just don't see the Veep being in play, at all. [The keynote address is] more like the perfect thing for someone who wants to run in four (or eight) years." (2/25/08)

"Actually, Jindal doesn't want to share the ticket with McCain, but he does want to make that keynote address at the GOP convention." (4/23/08)

"Again, I must emphasize my belief that Jindal is not going to be McCain's Vice Presidential pick. This orchestrated "informal name-dropping" campaign is meant to raise Jindal's profile, as he seeks the keynote address at the GOP Convention. Jindal enjoys all the "buzz" and attention, but he would be a horrible Veep pick. It's sort of like Rudy being the nominee-- I can't even comprehend it." (5/5/08)

I'm not going to say that I nailed this one perfectly*-- McCain obviously was more willing to go with a baffling mavericky Veep choice than anyone suspected-- however, I think my instincts about what Jindal wanted-- the keynote instead of the Veep slot-- are well-supported by Cillizza's post. Jindal's inner circle were right to resist McCain's courtship. I give them credit. But, will they be able to resist the GOP authoriteh struktur in 2012? That's the interesting question, now.

In the end, Rudy! got the keynote address and Jindal got Hurricane Gustav. But that's okay. Jindal has time. Again, to masturblog a bit more, I'm going to reprint the draft post I had written (on 8/10/08) in expectation of Jindal getting the GOP keynote address:

Episode 4: a new hope

Bobby Skywalker gets the keynote [link].

I've thought all along that Elliot Stonecipher's analysis about this was correct, and that's why I flagged it back in February. However, I've been surprised how much McCain showcased the young lad.

As for the keynote itself, I'm very interested to see how Jindal will approach the address. Will he try to broaden his "dragonslaying salesmen" schtick about reforming Louisiana, and try to make it a national example? That's not a lot of red meat, for the partisans. There's a lot of other things he could do, too, but they'd take him out of his comfort zone.

"It's not impossible. I used to bull's-eye womp rats in my T-sixteen back home."

-- Luke Skywalker

Update: WCBF adds his thoughts.
* still, it was a pretty sweet call. Not quite as sweet as Kojak's lollipop... but then again, what is?

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"There's a [Bobby] Brady inside of you" 


[Bobby] Jindal, elected governor of Louisiana in 2007 after serving in Congress and holding health care posts in state and federal government, makes his first trip to Iowa on Nov. 22.

He’s keynoting the statewide banquet of the Iowa Family Policy Center, a Christian conservative group, in suburban Des Moines and will tour flood-ravaged Cedar Rapids, offering his insights as a hurricane-state governor to state and local officials.

Though only 37 and in his first year in statewide office, Jindal is already drawing rave reviews.

Asked in a post-election chat which Republican officeholders impressed him during the campaign, McCain campaign chief Steve Schmidt didn’t hesitate: “Bobby Jindal, no question.”

Anti-tax crusader Grover Norquist, who wanted Jindal to be McCain’s vice presidential nominee this year, said flatly: “Jindal will be president. I don’t know the year.”

Ohhh bobbybobbybobbybobbybobbybobby... do you know what you are getting yourself into?

This summer I called our Governor: Bobby "Pass the Reform Biscuits" Jindal. That didn't seem to take. Now, Jim at Jindalwatch is calling him something in French that loosely translates to Bobby "Hold the Potato" Jindal.

I guess there will be plenty of time to speck-Q-late about Jindal's Presidential prospects over the coming years, but let me just state at the outset that I think Obama's election is a very big hindrance to Jindal's chances in 2012. (The only thing that would've been a bigger hindrance, I suppose, is if McCain somehow won.) Running against an incumbent Obama, the whole "smart, young, fresh face with broad appeal and exciting dose of pigment" angle suddenly has much less traction. But the beauty of the situation is that Jindal's party is now so starved for a "savior", that they might just try to convince him to run for 2012, "drafting" him if necessary. This will make governing and running for re-election in Louisiana, and asking for federal help from an Obama administration (and all kinds of other stuff) ... very complicated.

I've said this many times before (remember "Rudy!"?), and I've never once let you down:

This will be fun!

I don't know why some of my favorite punk rockers are/were conservatives. Johnny Ramone is one example. Another is Ben Weasel from Screeching Weasel. (Well, "conservative" is probably the wrong word for Ben. Perhaps "Post 9-11 critic of The Left a la Hitchens" is more accurate.)

My favorite Screeching Weasel song is "Peter Brady", off the Anthem for a New Tomorrow album. I love the sustained, biting power of the song. I just wish the title of it was "Bobby Brady"* instead of Peter Brady, because some of the lyrics are so choice. Unfortunately, the only Youtube of this song is a live version, but I'll embed it anyway for the three of you out there who might like it. I'll print the lyrics below:

Don't you see that people
Will like you for who you are
'Cause life is like a sitcom, a senior prom
And I'm OK and you're OK
Grade A - 10-4 - roger - over and out
Listen up - check it out
There's something ugly inside of you
There's a big empty hole inside of you
There's something creepy crawling on your brain
There's something in you
It's red white and blue inside of you
As long as you don't have
Lots of zits or small tits
Or crooked teeth
Then you won't be a freak, a wildebeaste
And people won't tape signs onto your back
Or beat the crap out of you
Or ignore your sorry ass
See, there's something vapid inside of you
There's a sweet little robot inside of you
So take off that silly moustache [see photo below]
Don't be a baby
There's a Pete Brady inside of you
ONE: You act your age
TWO: You don't try to be something you're not
THREE: You find out in advance
What restaurant your mom and dad are going to
And go someplace else

* Bobby Jindal changed his name from Piyush to "Bobby" when he was a young fan of the Brady Bunch. Here's a more recent photo of the actor who played "Bobby Brady".

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